Tuesday Blues

How is it Tuesday again already?! Urghhhh.

So a kind of last minute decision last week was that me and Tone were going to go to Reading. (I think Tone was swayed by Guns N Roses playing) I’ve got no idea who or where he got the tickets from and I was convinced they were fake until I actually got my wristband. To be quite honest, I was all festivalled out from Bestival, but I went along with it because the tickets were expensive and it meant my pink wellies got another summer outing (they’re sooooooo comfy LOL)

The weekend was going fairly well without any drama which was a relief. I know Reading can get a bit messy and once Tone is on the Special Brew (why?!) he’s a force to be reckoned with. I’d even managed to calm him down when he was mouthing off at the stewards when Guns N Roses got kicked off stage for playing too long; ‘NO NIC, IT AIN’T ALRIGHT, WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO ROCK N ROLL?!’

But then the shit hit the fan on Saturday when our tent broke. I’m fairly sure that the wind knackered it, but Tone is convinced that ‘SOME DICKHEAD SMASHED IT IN.’

Either way, the tent wasn’t fit for sleeping in. I reasoned that we could sleep in the car, or keep raving until the morning when we could sleep on the grass, but neither suggestion went down well. So what did Tone do? He went and bloody stole a tent from somewhere further down the campsite. It kind of angered me and made me smile at the same time. It did mean though that I got to sleep somewhere dry for the night although Tone’s snoring was horrendous! LOL.

Reading was pretty good, (especially seeing Blink!) but I’m feeling the effects today after 4 nights on the vodka. Why do I have to work tonight, whyyy?!

The stolen tent.... LOL

Mardi

Not many people assume that I like going to the theatre. I guess the fact that I dance in a wig and bikini for a living doesn't help. But imagine Vivian in Pretty Woman when Edward takes her to the opera. That kind of happened to me when I was younger. I think we got taken on a school trip to see Romeo and Juliet, I was probably 14 or 15. I just fell in love with the whole world and emotion of the theatre and I hate that I don't get to go that much.

When I do get the night off and then when I do get the tickets, I always end up with the same problem - who do I take? I wouldn't mind going on my own, but then I do prefer the company.

I managed last night to get a couple of tickets for La Bête. Not only was I excited to see Joanna Lumley (who doesn’t love Ab Fab?!) but the guy from Frasier is in it too… ummmm Niles.

I was quite close to persuading Tone to come with me until he heard the title; ‘I’M NOT PAYING TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE SPEAK FRENCH ALL NIGHT. I COULD STAND ANYWHERE IN SOHO AND LISTEN TO A FOREIGN LANGUAGE IF I WANTED TO’

I bit my lip to stop the laughter and told him I’d go on my own. I thought that would guilt trip him but it didn’t. He started muttering on about some new LED sign for the shop front.

I rang Wing as a last resort but her phone was off and she didn’t return my calls. My only other option was Mavis – and let’s face it, that isn’t really an option LOL. She’s still just about getting over Friday 13^th. Bless her.

I decided to brave it and go on my own and on the way I treated myself to a slice of pizza from one of the street vendours.

When I got to the theatre I gave my ticket back and said that my partner couldn’t make it. I guess I don’t really fit in with the theatre crowd with how I dress but I don’t give a toss. The funny looks they give me make me smile.

I sat down with a massive bag of Minstrels wishing I’d got a drink (well, I was more wishing that the bar wasn’t so frigging expensive) when a dishy bloke took the seat next to me and handed me a glass. I thought he was being a bit rude asking me to hold his drink without asking, but once he’d taken his seat he turned and said, ‘THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SEAT. I HOPE YOU LIKE VODKA TONICS?’

I think I should visit the theatre more often!

Happy Mardi!

Writing Woes

OK, so I guess it must all be over submission-wise by now? I haven't heard anything - from anywhere - just a massive VOID OF SILENCE! Is this what it's like to be a writer?? LOLOLOL.

Dunno how people do it... for real, I mean. Just from the blogs I can see even really great writers getting down about all the rejection and stuff - actual people whose stuff I've seen on the telly! - so what chance do I have, a girl who left home at 14 with only one GCSE at C (English Lang! Not even Lit! hahaha), who now works in a peep show?? (Yes, yes, fill your boots - a peep show! And no I'm not posting piccies, alright???).

They say "write what you know" but I'm not sure what I know anymore than I know who *they* are. Besides anything, not too sure people would wanna hear my life story. (Though that being so what the hell am I writing this blog for??? LOL)

Oh I dunno. Just not feeling the love, been trying to write a new short film and it's just not working out. Largely cos I feel like I've seen it somewhere else and I might be copying someone else's idea! Hah! How do you work out what's original??

Fuck it, this post isn't really going anywhere... bit like my script?

How are you? What you up to? Maybe you can inspire me...

Happy Tuesday!

Sea, Sand and Special Brew

Bestival was pretty much my summer holiday for this year, and it was my first holiday in a hell of a long time. It's not like I have no money, (obvs I'm not minted else I'd be living in a castle somewhere) but Tone can't really leave work for more than one night at a time - he doesn't trust anyone else to run the place, that business is his baby, and I don't fancy heading off into the sun on my own. I'd go on a girls holiday, but Wing is a hard one to keep tamed in London, can you imagine what she'd be like in Shagaluf?!! LOL

It does make my tummy sink when I think about summer holidays though. Everyone's always off to Spain or Italy to soak up some rays with their other halves or with their families. My last family holiday was even longer ago than my last holiday. I got a bit sad earlier when Wing said she was going back to China for a few weeks to see her grandparents. I don’t tend to get het up about my lack of family very often. Living in London near Tone and Mavis is more than enough for me, but every so often I think of my first and only family holiday with my dad.

I think I was about 4 and dad obviously felt some guilt over not being there for me very much. He bundled me in the car and drove to Ilfracombe. It was such a hasty decision that he didn’t even pack my toothbrush or teddy bear.

The place wasn’t very glamorous but I didn’t care. It was freezing (well, it was mid-April) but I was desperate to make the most of being at the seaside so begged dad to buy me a bucket and spade and then an ice cream. I seem to remember my hands turning blue because it was so cold. That was just the way my dad rolled though, nothing ever seemed to be given much thought. He spent most of his time sitting and staring out at the sea chain smoking while I never tired of playing barefoot in the sand. I think we only stayed for 2 or 3 days, I can’t really remember.

We left early because dad had to get back home suddenly. I sensed even at that age that something wasn’t quite right with him. He’d tried to order another drink at the small bar at our motel, but they refused. Screaming and shouting he gave in, grabbed me from playing with my jigsaw and drove us home. It was one of the last times I saw him.

Still, I guess I can try and use my womanly charm to persuade Tone into taking me away. Failing that, I’ll have to deal with Wing’s drunken antics!

Bestival Bits & Bobs

OKKKKKKKK was gonna do a full run-down but TBH I got too mashed to remember EVERYTHING (I'm sorry OK! LOLOLOLOL). So here's the bits that do stick out:

- Takin SEVEN HOURS to get in and needin a wee like mad for at least 4 of em and Tone tellin me I shld keep off his Special Brew

- Guys in car in front in the Q kept jumping out and leaping across the car bonnet Starsky & Hutch style and switching who was driving (at about 2mph!)

- Pink bestival bands - bloke in Q in front of me: "I'm enjoying the pinkness of these wristbands, they're awesome" (yes he was already mashed goin in, LOL)

- A kid with flowers in her hair comes up to me when I'm drinking beer listening to Scroobious Pip on Friday, our conversation went like this...

KID: Hi. My name's River.

ME: That's a well-cool name.

KID: Yeah, my mum's a hippie.

ME: Did she tell you not to talk to strangers, too?

KID: Yeah. But you look alright.

Thanks!!! hahahahahaha - noticed she didn't talk to Tone tho!

- Bloke in next door tent didn't stop talking ALL NIGHT Friday!!! And was up at 6am!! And asked me for a frigging light for his fag!

- Met Lucy V and her well-cool family! And I was sick on Hub! (Only a little bit - LOL)

- Saw The Gruffalo. It was pure awesome sauce. Go and see it!

- Someone set off a bloody air raid siren Saturday night! Maybe. Or it could've been a dream

- Got well sketchy when I saw loads of witches and Shreks and even someone dressed as a wasp

- Sang ALL NIGHT LONG with some blokes in their pants (they were on stage tho)

- Saw Mr Tumble in the crowd at Madness, he gave me a hug! I LOVE HIM

- Bought some FAIRY WINGS!

- Lost Tone for 4 hours, saw that cook-bloke from River Cottage Hugh Fernly-Wittings signing books but I didn't have a book but he signed my arm! Awesome

- Chilled out to Mr Scruff but his little cartoons on his screens well freaked me out

- Tone brought the radios from the club, had many weird convos with mad peeps on the same channel, including this one:

GIRL ON RADIO: Hello, Ruby? Come in Ruby.

ME: That's me. What do you want? Over.

GIRL ON THE RADIO: Where the hell have you been? Over.

ME: Around and about. What can I get ya? Ooops... Over.

GIRL ON THE RADIO: I've been looking all day for you! Over.

ME: Sorry. Over.

GIRL ON THE RADIO: Meet you by the circus tent, the baby wants you.

ME: Um, I don't have a baby. I think I'm the wrong Ruby. Over.

GIRL ON THE RADIO: Ruby, stop screwing around! I think he's hungry. Over.

ME: Seriously, I haven't got a baby. Try another Ruby. Over.

GIRL ON THE RADIO: I'm going to kill you when I find you. OVER.

So if you're Ruby and you went off for a bit without your baby, SORRY! I made it 1000 times worse when you returned, LOLOLOLOL

- Finally, dropped my NEW Crackberry down the eco toilets. It's now a CRAPberry... BOOM BOOM

Had a well-wicked time, what did you get up to this weekend?