Nothing to see here

... So move along now.

That's right, nothing, nada... nowt.

Well except a few things: I saw a green poodle in the park. Yes, it was actually green. Apparently it was in a TV ad, it's owner said. Or maybe it was one of those things they put on between the adverts on BBC1 and 2 or something? So watch out for that. (And don't worry about the poodle being green, it was a special dye... non-licky or something).

Tone's good. He got a new tattoo on Friday. I'm pretending I know what it is. Apparently it's another language, but looks like a squiggly picture to me. It's quite large and on his moob. EXCEPT HE DOESN'T HAVE MOOBS, HE HAS PECS! (LOLOLOLOL).

Oh and Wing broke up with Fabian. Then got back with him. They were broken up for thirty nine minutes and 27 seconds. The time it takes her to get from The Club, to the kebab shop, to her flat, basically.

So there you go.

But otherwise: life's great! Hope your's is too.

Happy Tuesday xxx

Being all wistful and that

Been all reflective and stuff over the past week. Was thinking about what would have happened if I was pregnant, and feeling a bit sad that I’m not. (Not like really sad, but like, having a little thing to dress up could be nice lol) Anyway, it made me think about me and Tone. It’s kind of a shame to throw it all away, we’ve been going out forever. He’s a well nice guy, but turns into a monster when he’s in the wrong crowd and doing the wrong stuff. Feel a bit like Cheryl Cole in her interview thing on Pierce Morgan. She saying that Ashley is a nice guy - no one believes her, I feel like that when I say that Tone is a nice guy. Before you all start yelling at me, don’t worry, I’m not doing anything stupid, I’m just reminissing.

I try not to think bout it too much, it’s hard talking about it, but I decided to try and talk to Mavis about it and find out what she really thinks of him/us. Turns out, having Mavis as your relationship counsellor is like asking a toddler for relationship advice. LOL First of all she couldn’t quite work out who I was talking about, because she thought Tone had been on holiday for the past month... Whattt?! I tried to remind her we'd already HAD this conversation about us splitting, but turns out when he’d popped round to see her, he’d mentioned something about going to Aintree (presumably for some big lads gambling lash up) and she thought that Aintree was in Spain. So in Mavis’s world, Tone has been off on holiday in Spain for 4 weeks and is renting out his flat, which is why I’m back with her at the moment. I tried to explain but she got a bit huffy with me saying that Tone had definitely said he was going to Aintree. Right...

Then totally out of the blue on Sunday whilst I was pigging out on Dairy Milk on the sofa, she just goes ‘SO ARE YOU THINKING OF GETTING BACK WITH TONY?’ Then we had a relatively normal conversation (she went off on a random rant about seaweed – WTF?!) which ended with her saying ‘WELL I DO WORRY ABOUT YOU WITH HIM, HE SEEMS TO HAVE YOU WRAPPED AROUND HIS LITTLE FINGER, AND HE ALWAYS CARRIES SUCH LARGE AMOUNTS OF CASH. BUT HE DOES ALWAYS REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY AND BRINGS FLOWERS. MAYBE YOU SHOULD SUGGEST HE GETS A BANK ACCOUNT?’

You’ve just gotta love her right? Maybe visiting her is better than living with her though. I’m starting to feel like the luxury of being looked after has gone, and that I want some space of my own back. Maybe I’ll start looking for a little place of my own – preferably a little nearer to work than Dollis Hill!
Happy Tuesday.

DRAMA!!!

So anyway last week I got in trouble with the police and thought that was the worst it could get (at least in ONE week anyway) but I WAS SO WRONG.

Went back to Tone's after I legged it from my place and everything was fine... for maybe 24 hours. I forgot what a pigsty his place is and what a pig he is. In fact thats mean to pigs. I'm sure pigs don't leave mouldy cups and plates and full ashtrays everywhere and BLOODY GLASS BONGS lying on the floor, dimwit bloody tit.

ANYWAY. I'm picking my way across this unbelievable DUMP and trying actually to clean the place up and I stand on his precious bloody bong he brought back from India when he went out to find himself when he was twenty one (or some shit). It's made of glass and I'm wearing heels, so wham - went straight through it. I never liked it anyway - Tone is so boring when he's out of it - AND the dam think cut my heel cos my shoes are strappy.

So... There's actual BLOOD, I'm hopping around swearing, he comes in and actually says, "what have you done, you dappy bitch?"

DAPPY BITCH. I just saw red cos that is total out of order cos it was HIS FAULT. I call him a wanker and immature and whatever, it all just WHOOOOOSHES out and before I know it we've been arguing for four hours... I've literally coughed it all up! How he never appreciates me, how he's a pig, how he's inconsiderate, how he takes advantage, even how he's a sad old lech for going out with me in the first place! [He always says he's thirty nine but we ALL KNOW he's way older than that!!!] Then I start making fun of him, telling him what all the girls at the club say about him and probably I shouldn't have done that, but I'm just SO SICK of him never giving a toss how *I* feel...

... And anyway, to cut a long story short he chucked me out on the street. At about 1am!!! I tried Wing's but she was out and Mavis was bloody away (she's back now though), so I ended up walking round Leyton all night with two black binliners. There were a few cafes open and a launderette but can you BELIEVE IT! Typical Tone. I eventually went to Wing's and she put me up til Sunday which was when Mavis came back.

Of course he tries to get out of it, saying he reckoned I'd go to Wing's and how was he sposed to know she'd be out... but why would you chuck someone out on the street in the middle of the night??? I'm sick of him, he's gone too far this time... Especially since he got well nasty when he realised I wasn't budging: he only goes and says he'd sack me if I didn't get into work on Friday night, Wing too! So I ended up going - I needed the money! - and he puts me in WINDOW 6, which is for the new girls... I've been at the club for YEARS. And he wouldn't let me in the VIP room to talk up any of the punters for tips.

At the end of the night he says, "I hope you've learned your lesson" -- like I would just say, "Oh OK" and go back with him NOW. So I just walked out on him... You should have seen his face! Saturday night too, I came in, went to Window 6, not a complaint, totally blanked him. I could see his vains like BULGING, he was that mad. Last night (Monday) he was trying to make me jealous going on at the Polish girls and laughing too loud if you know what I mean, looking over at me every five minutes. Loser.

So that was my week. Happy Tuesday -- can't be any worse cannit??