Being all wistful and that

Been all reflective and stuff over the past week. Was thinking about what would have happened if I was pregnant, and feeling a bit sad that I’m not. (Not like really sad, but like, having a little thing to dress up could be nice lol) Anyway, it made me think about me and Tone. It’s kind of a shame to throw it all away, we’ve been going out forever. He’s a well nice guy, but turns into a monster when he’s in the wrong crowd and doing the wrong stuff. Feel a bit like Cheryl Cole in her interview thing on Pierce Morgan. She saying that Ashley is a nice guy - no one believes her, I feel like that when I say that Tone is a nice guy. Before you all start yelling at me, don’t worry, I’m not doing anything stupid, I’m just reminissing.

I try not to think bout it too much, it’s hard talking about it, but I decided to try and talk to Mavis about it and find out what she really thinks of him/us. Turns out, having Mavis as your relationship counsellor is like asking a toddler for relationship advice. LOL First of all she couldn’t quite work out who I was talking about, because she thought Tone had been on holiday for the past month... Whattt?! I tried to remind her we'd already HAD this conversation about us splitting, but turns out when he’d popped round to see her, he’d mentioned something about going to Aintree (presumably for some big lads gambling lash up) and she thought that Aintree was in Spain. So in Mavis’s world, Tone has been off on holiday in Spain for 4 weeks and is renting out his flat, which is why I’m back with her at the moment. I tried to explain but she got a bit huffy with me saying that Tone had definitely said he was going to Aintree. Right...

Then totally out of the blue on Sunday whilst I was pigging out on Dairy Milk on the sofa, she just goes ‘SO ARE YOU THINKING OF GETTING BACK WITH TONY?’ Then we had a relatively normal conversation (she went off on a random rant about seaweed – WTF?!) which ended with her saying ‘WELL I DO WORRY ABOUT YOU WITH HIM, HE SEEMS TO HAVE YOU WRAPPED AROUND HIS LITTLE FINGER, AND HE ALWAYS CARRIES SUCH LARGE AMOUNTS OF CASH. BUT HE DOES ALWAYS REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY AND BRINGS FLOWERS. MAYBE YOU SHOULD SUGGEST HE GETS A BANK ACCOUNT?’

You’ve just gotta love her right? Maybe visiting her is better than living with her though. I’m starting to feel like the luxury of being looked after has gone, and that I want some space of my own back. Maybe I’ll start looking for a little place of my own – preferably a little nearer to work than Dollis Hill!
Happy Tuesday.