ARGHHHHHHHH!!!

I had the biggest bloody scare yesterday morning, I can’t even begin to explain just how much I was crapping my pants LOL

So the last few days I’d been feelin a bit peaky and dead emotional. (Like when I read about Courtney Cox and David Arquette splitting up, I nearly cried – I mean whattttt?!) But yea, I was feeling all emotional which I kind of put down to PMS, but then I started to munch on loads and loads of brandy snaps. I’m not sure why, but for some reason I was craving boxes of the bleedin things. I know what you’re thinking, but the switch just didn’t click in my head – I just thought I was having some mega sugar low.

Then on Sunday morning I woke up feeling queasy and I hadn’t even touched a drop of voddy or anything. (I was proud because I had had the whole weekend off and I didn’t call Wing and go into town to get trolleyed)

So that’s when the penny finally dropped. I was watching a bit of Sunday morning telly and that cute Petit Filous advert came on. ‘Awwww those little kids are cute… Wait…. Little… kids…little…. Babies…. OH…. MYYYYY…. GODDDD. *Drops the remote and the box of brandy snaps*

Luckily Mavis thought I was just getting a tad excited about fromage fraisee (sp!?) and so wasn’t too confused by me running out of the house in my trackies and flip flops to find a pharmacy.

I bought 2 tests. Those things are freaking expensive. (I had a scare a few years ago, but Tone was well nice and went to the shops for me) The lady at the counter gave me a knowing smile. She looked a bit smug, as if to say ‘MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE USED BIRTH CONTROL’ I wasn’t in the mood to retaliate, I was a tad preoccupied.

Anyway, I ran back to the house with all these thoughts racing thru my head about who the father could be. I mean, can you imagine me trying to find that Neil fella? Let alone telling him I’m up the duff.

I swear those tests take longer than 2 minutes. It was the longest two minutes of my life. Anyway, the test comes up with no mark. No positive or negative sign. WHAAAAAAA!!!! Then I started to really panic. So I did the second one, and again it felt like 3 hours had passed when my phone stopwatch beeped.

I’ve never been so happy to be negative about anything. Can you imagine me being sprogged up?! LOL. Naturally I had a couple of voddys afterwards to celebrate the fact that I’d be keeping my size 8 figure at least for the time being.