Nothing to see here

... So move along now.

That's right, nothing, nada... nowt.

Well except a few things: I saw a green poodle in the park. Yes, it was actually green. Apparently it was in a TV ad, it's owner said. Or maybe it was one of those things they put on between the adverts on BBC1 and 2 or something? So watch out for that. (And don't worry about the poodle being green, it was a special dye... non-licky or something).

Tone's good. He got a new tattoo on Friday. I'm pretending I know what it is. Apparently it's another language, but looks like a squiggly picture to me. It's quite large and on his moob. EXCEPT HE DOESN'T HAVE MOOBS, HE HAS PECS! (LOLOLOLOL).

Oh and Wing broke up with Fabian. Then got back with him. They were broken up for thirty nine minutes and 27 seconds. The time it takes her to get from The Club, to the kebab shop, to her flat, basically.

So there you go.

But otherwise: life's great! Hope your's is too.

Happy Tuesday xxx

The One

Wing Hun said you "just know" when you've found The One. She goes out with a bloke called Fabian at the moment - no joke, who calls their kid Fabian??? How can you look at a TINY LITTLE BABY and say, "Ah yes, the perfect name for him is FABIAN"!!! It sounds like some kind of Laura Ashley line... "The FABIAN collection... complete with drapes, soft furnishings, candles, scents....!" YIKES!

Where was I? Oh yeah. Wing says you just know. She reckons she knew with Fabian when he took her to this posh restaurant and she said she'd rather have a kebab. He didn't bat an eyelid apparently and they ran out on the bill and he got her this massive kebab out in Streatham with chilli AND cheese on AS WELL. With a Dandelion and Burdock to wash it down. That's gotta be love, right? To Wing, anyway... She loves kebabs and D&B!! How the hell is she a size 8?? LOLOLOLOL (and NO, I know whatcha thinking: dancing & laxatives & zillions of trips to the loo to chuck it all back up! No way! : P ).

TBH I always thought Wing Hun bought into all that crap from the magazines she reads and all those Mills And Boon novels. She's always got her head in one of those at work. Once she even did a peep show a reading an article from CLOSER she left on the floor at her feet, LOL. And even when I was with Tone the first time around I still didn't really get it... He never seemed to care for me 100% or even care as much about me as I did him... but that was then.

Maybe our time apart did him some good or he finally grew up - who knows - but I had a moment like Wing Hun said at the weekend. I was in the bath at his and he didn't come in getting all lairy saying he wanted to soap me up or anything like that like he might of a year ago. Instead he comes in with a towel for me. And it's a new one. And it's pink. So I say:

"Didn't know you liked pink."

And he replies, "I bought it for you to keep here, you daft mare."

That's when I knew he was The One. Who says romance is dead, hey?! hahahaha.

Happy Tuesday!

x

Okkkkkkkkkkk....

... So I went on the date.

Thanks to everyone for their advice. Totally appreciated the warnings in particular... if it wasn't me I'd probably have said exact same thing... but then cos it WAS me, I'd have always wondered if I should of gone. It was a tough one! But I took Wing with me in the end, so nobody had to worry, least of all me.

And as it goes, I needn't of worried anyway cos guess what... My mystery date was Tone! Thats one guy I DO know pretty intimately, LOL. At least I thought I did... flowers and dresses and dates?? I was pretty wierded out and when I first saw him I was kind of disappointed, I never really thought it could be him. Like a whole new side to him. I almost took one look and walked out with Wing again, but something made me go over to the table even though Wing was like, "lets go". She's in a mood with me right now but she'll get over it.

So anyway: I had a meal with him and Tone was really interested in me for once and actually asking me about my life and stuff. He said he knows he sees me at work all the time but he wants to actually get to know me, for real. He even said sorry for all the shit before and all that crap with Paprika/Marika recently trying to make me jealous.

He said he's changed.

He's said that before of course... but then I've never put my foot down like I have the last six months or so. Always before we'd argue and he'd be like, "sorry" and I'd be "oh alright then" and we'd struggle on like we did before. But this time I made a break and showed him I could survive on my own and he could go stick it up his arse. He said that made him think. He said he's underestimated me and he'd never do that again.

Hmmmmmmmmm.

On the plus side, the meal was lush. I had this wierd green asparagus soup thing with an egg to start, then a steak with peppercorn sauce, then Eton Mess. Yum! I also drank a bottle and a half of wine. Well, Tone was paying and hes's flush, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Oh and by the way - just so you know: NOTHING HAPPENED. Tone didn't even try his luck. Got me a taxi after the meal and kissed me on the cheek, like a gentleman. Didn't want to come back with me, didn't go for a snog and didn't even hassle me to call him. Yesterday at work he was nice, but didn't push anything, wasn't in my face at all. I just don't know what to think - never seen this side of him. Ever.

So that was Saturday! And today's Tuesday again... lots of thinking to do. Have a good one!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Okay, so I got some flowers last week. Which was nice. But this week??

A DRESS.

That's right! A dress! I still can't quite believe it. I went into the cafe for my Monday night hot choc and I'd be lieing if I said I wasn't *hoping* he (whoever he is) might've left something for me, cos I was. But I figured it might be a card or a note or even a photo or something.

But instead, the waitress comes over with a face like a smacked arse - haha you shoulda seen her she was so jealous! - with one of those fancy boxes from department stores and dumps it in front of me and stalks off without a word. Later she said she hadn't seen who left it, but I wasn't sure she was telling the truth. Maybe I can ask her again later.

Anyway: inside the box was like, layers and layers of tissue paper and inside the most gorgeous dress you ever seen! Expensive one, too, didn't even recognise the label it was that fancy, certainly wasn't New Look or Dottie P's, LOLOLOL. And with the dress was a note, saying to meet him at a restaurant in town this saturday, table's booked for 8pm! And to wear the dress!

IT'S LIKE A MOVIE OR SOMETHING.

I was well-impressed and still sort of am, but now I'm starting to worry... but meeting a stranger is OK in a public place, isn't it? Loads of people meet people off the internet on those dating sites and there's gotta be more weirdoes on those than in real life, right? I showed the dress to Wing and she didn't seem very cool with it, she said it was creepy to get a dress from somebody you don't know who obviously knows you... and I hadn't thought of it like that before. Then she said, "What if it's Tone who sent the dress?" but I know it CAN'T be him, he'd never do something like this, his idea of foreplay is buying me a few Babychams, HAHA!

But she's right that this guy must've seen me about, he even got my dress size right! What if it's a punter from the club? What if that's oddball that comes in on Mondays?! Ick. He really is creepy. Or maybe I'm being unkind. Maybe he only comes into the club cos he's lonely - and we all know how that feels!!!

I'M SO CONFUSED.

I suppose I could just see how I feel Saturday night. He didn't leave a number or email or anything for me to cancel either, so I'd feel bad not going AT ALL... Maybe I should go at 8pm, say thanks very much and then leave? Argh! This bit never happens in the movies!!! What would YOU do?

Oh - and happy tuesday x

SQUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

I've gone and done it! Not *that*, urgh, dirty boy LOLOLOL... I've got a new place to live! I'm not with Mavis anymore! GLORY! Gotta love Mavis, she's like my Mum and that, but you gotta admit she's so barking she could turn into a greyhound and nobody would notice (eh? Does that even make sense? Apple doesn't fall far from the tree! hahaha). Except that really doesn't make sense cos me and her are not related. DOUBLE LOL! Treble?? Who cares.

Anyway, where was I?? The new place! Tis truly fab. It's a little studio and smelt like cat piss of course and had porno in the bathroom, but now it is a LOVE PALACE. Or will be, when I find someone worth taking back to it! Wing found it in the paper late Friday night, told me about it when we were watching the fireworks on the common when we were supposed to be at work. Tone was so mad! Turned my phone off. Went to work last night and he was like, "Where were you over the weekend?" I reply breezily, "Flat hunting." His face!

Anyway the years of watching How Clean Is Your House? paid off cos Wing and I blitzed the joint with white vinegar and a bit of lemon. Worked really well! Then I got some white paint and gave the place a bit of a touch up. We went to Wilko and got some cushions and some of those lights in the shape of flowers you can drape over stuff... And Mavis made me some curtains.

It's a bit expensive for what it is (I can see some public toilets from my window on the left, niiiice!) and the downside is I definitely CAN'T just jack work in now with rent to pay, but then I wasn't going to let Tone drive me out, I'll leave when I'm good and ready thanks! Moved in for real yesterday afternoon, it's mint.

I know I've been a bit rude on here about her but I've loved my time with Mavis, though. She's so caring - when she's not worried about the Apocalypse or that guy off Top Gear who will APPARENTLY KILL US ALL. And no, I'm not even talking about that big annoying one that shoots his mouth off or the one that crashes all the time, but the one with the bad grey hair that builds real houses out of Lego. WTF? But then Mavis has never liked Lego. She still regales people at the Christmas gathering she has every year (read: me, a boyfriend, a few biddies from the WI) with the time her brother Phill swallowed a piece of Lego one Chrimbo and she and him and her Mam spent FOURTEEN HOURS in A & E. Must've made a big impression, she was only about 6 and poor Phill went and died in a car accident when he was 17. Sad.

Happy Tuesday! Come over to my place for a virtual drink, I'm raising a glass to ya!