Cold Feet

No, not the tv programme, although I kind of wish that was what I was blogging about instead. (I seem to remember that programme being pretty good actually)

But I’m on about the date I went on with Tone. And things with Tone in general.

It wasn’t disasterous or anything like that, it just didn’t feel right, you know? We kind of like, didn’t click? And if felt like a bit of a wasted effort.

After my dull week, I decided to treat myself to a new dress for the occasion and ended up going all out on a dress from Topshop that was far too expensive for what it is, but far too pretty to leave on the hanger in the shop. (Added bonus was that of the 2 sizes I tried on, the smaller one was the one that fitted. LOL!) Was a bit annoyed that whilst on my way to work the following night, I saw 3 girls wearing it, but then that’s the curse of TopShop isn’t it?

So I made a proper effort. I’d got this cute flowery tea dress and I had a nice long hot shower (did necessary hair removal – but ONLY to make me feel better about myself – NOT for what you’re all thinking) and blow dried my hair etc.

Also ended up buying a nail varnish for £8 or something obscene in TopShop but it was the perfect colour match for my dress. So I painted my fingers and toes too. I was feeling v sexy and v good about myself before I left, and I just had a little shot of vodka to calm the butterflies in my tummy.

Tone picked me up and said I looked pretty, and then asked if my dress ‘WAS ON SALE OR SOMETHING?’ because he’d seen loads of girls wearing it. Oh.

But anyway, aside from that, we were exchanging the necessary small talk on the way to the restaurant.

Tone had decided to take me somewhere new, and when we got there, they’d lost our reservation. So we had to wait 10 minutes for a table. That didn’t put Tone in the best of moods. I tried to calm him down and reassure him everything was okay, but I just was flooded with memories of his aggression and how that was the thing I had wanted to escape. When I looked him in the eye his eyes didn’t look quite right, so I reckon he might have done a cheeky line of something. I can’t be sure, and I didn’t want to ask, but that’s the Tone that I don’t want to be with.

He did calm down a bit, and conversation kind of flowed again, but I held back quite a lot and realised that wasn’t what I was there for.

I made my excuses before dessert as it just got uncomfortable. I hope Tone didn’t beat anyone up or get in trouble when I left, I could see in his eyes he was angry.

I got myself some pudding on the way home and snuggled up on the sofa in my pj’s with a romcom. Tone called a few times when I got home, but I ignored them. I really don’t think he’s right for me at the moment.