Mardi

Not many people assume that I like going to the theatre. I guess the fact that I dance in a wig and bikini for a living doesn't help. But imagine Vivian in Pretty Woman when Edward takes her to the opera. That kind of happened to me when I was younger. I think we got taken on a school trip to see Romeo and Juliet, I was probably 14 or 15. I just fell in love with the whole world and emotion of the theatre and I hate that I don't get to go that much.

When I do get the night off and then when I do get the tickets, I always end up with the same problem - who do I take? I wouldn't mind going on my own, but then I do prefer the company.

I managed last night to get a couple of tickets for La Bête. Not only was I excited to see Joanna Lumley (who doesn’t love Ab Fab?!) but the guy from Frasier is in it too… ummmm Niles.

I was quite close to persuading Tone to come with me until he heard the title; ‘I’M NOT PAYING TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE SPEAK FRENCH ALL NIGHT. I COULD STAND ANYWHERE IN SOHO AND LISTEN TO A FOREIGN LANGUAGE IF I WANTED TO’

I bit my lip to stop the laughter and told him I’d go on my own. I thought that would guilt trip him but it didn’t. He started muttering on about some new LED sign for the shop front.

I rang Wing as a last resort but her phone was off and she didn’t return my calls. My only other option was Mavis – and let’s face it, that isn’t really an option LOL. She’s still just about getting over Friday 13^th. Bless her.

I decided to brave it and go on my own and on the way I treated myself to a slice of pizza from one of the street vendours.

When I got to the theatre I gave my ticket back and said that my partner couldn’t make it. I guess I don’t really fit in with the theatre crowd with how I dress but I don’t give a toss. The funny looks they give me make me smile.

I sat down with a massive bag of Minstrels wishing I’d got a drink (well, I was more wishing that the bar wasn’t so frigging expensive) when a dishy bloke took the seat next to me and handed me a glass. I thought he was being a bit rude asking me to hold his drink without asking, but once he’d taken his seat he turned and said, ‘THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SEAT. I HOPE YOU LIKE VODKA TONICS?’

I think I should visit the theatre more often!

Happy Mardi!